Had the joy of meeting up with some new friends and my boyfriend to go downtown yesterday. It was nice to be able to have conversations with some depth to them for once. My old friends don't know how to have a good deep conversation. They haven't had enough life experience yet. These new friends are more like me. We have our damages and troubled pasts, but it makes us deeper people. The four of us can be so open with one another because we all have issues and won't judge. It's so refreshing to not have to hide bits of me away and pretend to be something I'm not.
Yesterday we got some coffee, went to a book store where I bought a copy of Kurt Cobain's Journals, and then saw the movie Looper at the theatre. There were also many meaningful conversations. Hanging out with others who have mental health problems and just talking makes me feel so much better, and I think it does the same for them. We all feel less freaky and alone.
Back when school started in August these two new friends were actually what gave me the courage to go to school without bandanas and bracelets covering my wrists. The first week of school I was a nervous wreck because I had made the decision to not cover up and felt really awkward with all the white lines trailing across my arms visible to my classmates for the first time. Then I started sitting with these new friends and noticed the scars on their arms. The fact that they had no shame about theirs made me feel less ashamed of mine. Accepting friends makes everything better.
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